Wednesday, November 4, 2015

My Little Margie

   It has been a year since my beloved sister Margaret left this life after a long  battle with cancer. She fought with the strength I have never seen in a person before. She gave the appearance of normalcy even when the suffering was unbearable. She just didn't want anyone in her life to worry and never want anyone to pity her . It was just her way.
  After her passing emotion ran rampart , her friends , neighbors and family exhibited such an outpouring of love , that I was overwhelmed. I really never figured out how to process it all .
    At first I decided that maybe I should share my remembrance of our growing up and where we came from. That became way too painful , it reminded me of the finality of her loss. Then after awhile, and many of her closest friends sharing their Marge stories , I began feeling how I was going to flip my internal switch from sorrowful sadness to a life celebrated by all who knew her .
   She absolutely would not have accepted her family  and every single other person she knew to prolong the sorrow but get back to living life as she did .
   I am pretty sure it would make her sad if we stayed so. Although i keep her picture on my phone to view everyday. I keep her strength and her zest for life in my heart . I have made a deal with her soul.   I will always try and smile when I think of her life. I will also try to be as strong as my baby sister was in face of adversity. I will go where my heart takes me and do what I consider correct instead of what others may want me to do.
   But for one more time I will certainly make it clear , Marge I will miss you and have always loved you more than words can say.
   You will always be My Little Margie

Monday, January 19, 2015

As Time Went By

 As I stated in my previous post that we did most things in a pack, our families and neighbors acted in concert to enjoy the free time that they could squeeze away from work and raising family. Our moms had their hands full too many kids , all in Catholic schools , all at once. But our folks always seem to make it, despite many obstacles. No one ever complained.
 Then our lives kind of changed , my folks told us that we were moving to Staten Island.
We were freaked out, all our friends and neighbors we grew to consider family were about to be left behind . To us it seemed like SI was a million miles away and we would be trapped in a placed way different from what we knew . At that time many of our relatives on my father side lived there and although they were family ,we didnt have the day to day contact like we did on 55th street. And to top it off most of my SI cousins  didnt live close enough to walk to visit.
  The first few weeks SI was like a jail sentence, it was summer and the weekend we moved in was a storm, akin to a hurricane . This was a bad omen. At that time I was trying a new experience , I was performing in a play with some OLPH folks. although I probably was more  novelty then an actor . I had acted as the Mayor of the Munchkins in a previous production of Wizard Of Oz, then as Lt Brannigan (of the Vice Squad ) in Guys and Dolls. It was a hoot to do and to get all that special attention . All the actors were high school and freshman college students and I was in  grade school . And I got to make some folks laugh . Family and friends were always supportive . And I was always a HAM.
  This time also put a strain on my schedule down on Shore Road , because thats where I got to play sandlot football ...My true love. Coming from OLPH, which was noted for basketball. There were many terrific players in this hood , I had a hard time getting playing time and finally decided to go with a sport that gave me a chance to play more. Being a Strype I had built in instruction , my brothers probably understood way before I did that football was a better option for me. Richie and Jim always gave me their best effort when it came to coaching and an honest reveiw of my performance. There was never any favoritism when they coached the teams I played on , best guys always played first . It taught me that fairness was most important in sports at that age.
  Getting back to Staten Island , soon after arriving I started to realize two things , we needed to act like this was a good thing for us , to make my parents not worry about our adjusting to a dramatic change at such a formative time in our lives, and second I now had two sets of friends . I loved living in a place that was new and different than the place I came from. It was good for perspective .
  I would hang with new school and neighborhood friends in SI and go to BKLYN on weekends to be with the people I know my whole life up until that point. It was unique to say the least . My parents were always good with myself and Judy traveling to and from old hood . I had friends in Brooklyn that would let me  stay for the weekends Reggie Fleming (who was as much a cousin and best friend as I could get) . And Jimmy (Butch) Cassidy whose family were the very nicest , most generous people to all they came in contact with. And let me not leave out the Penders , Jim and family always had an open door policy to all .
   Around this time Margie had just fit in to SI just fine . I love that about little kids they just are so natural at social stuff. Want to be my best friend ..Sure ... and we're good to go.
She was too , like anyone who ever met her will tell you she was always so comfortable in social situations , making friends and having fun was her area of expertise.
   I had a hard time resuming this project because all the best memories of Marge came with a sadness once told . There is a hole in my heart that is right next to that special place where she lives . Like my tail was caught in a mouse trap.The more I wrote the sadder I became and the Holidays were tough for us all. Although we did our stuff with her in mind it was and will never be the same.
    Although this project was a memory lane journey for me , this is will eventually turn into something different then its intention. Once I get the back stories out , I hopefully will be able to get to some of the fun times and stories of our collective lives together. So as always , if you care to... stay with me ...I can use the company  

 

Monday, December 1, 2014

55 Street Days

   Next I would like to talk about growing up  on 55 St. We lived above my fathers , brother and 2 houses up from my mother's sister . We had 6 kids and next door had 7 kids , downstairs 5 kids. Down the street (next avenue) my mothers younger brother 3 kids and my mothers cousin 4 kids and on 7th ave my moms next younger  brother 4 kids and on 54 st her next younger brother 3 kids .....Our maternal grandparents 55th & 4ave , paternal grandparents 62st & 6ave... So basically mostly my whole family and all my cousins were  in walking or yelling distance..I also had paternal uncles and aunts all over the neighborhood..
    It really was incredible having all the people you love in a great big cluster. We did everything together on my mom's side , my dads family was little more spread out , but still in close proximity. I loved the secure feeling this gave me.
 About the time Marge was born (1963) we became like a tribe of our own. Summer time was the time I loved the most, we lived everyday in the park on 6th ave learning street games and sports. Brothers , cousins and many kids from our hood all playing ball.
   There were many guys of impressive talent to watch and learn from, but really my cousins, uncles and brothers ruled that court . At least that what I thought. We also ruled the alleys in back of our houses.
    Summertime was stoop and airyway hang out time. My mom would put Marge in the playpen and she became the mayor of 55th street , as soon as she could talk she was greeting and making pals of eveyone who came by . Hi Margie they would all say, stop to hang for a sec.. While she jumped and rocked like crazy.
    Most times myself and cousin John would hang and make Marge talk and laugh. He too had a spell on her and she couldn't wait to see him. Like myself , John is a guy who could work a room . I also am  under his spell until this day. I think we laughed harder for the first 25years of our lives about every and anything.
   We were blessed with a cast of characters in our hood that was beyond belief .This gave us tons of material to work with . Our circle of friends all had incredible sense of humor . Nothing was off limits.
     Like I mentioned our families did everything together , vacations included so we were constantly hanging out with cousins, and my wacky uncles ,who made us laugh the most. The uncles would play all day on beach with us when we went to Keansburg in 60's..And were always the life of the grownup parties.  Our moms would sing (Steele Sisters) and we would howl. Our folks had a crew of their own on 55th street. They weren't related to us but it seemed like they were. One big happy family
  When it was party time it was EXCELLENT.
These memories are a little random and i don't know if they are of interest.  BUT...

    Like I said in the first blog (mission statement) that writing is new to me so bare with me and as time goes on my memories will be more connected to a specific point ...so if you can ..stay with me ...I could use the company

Saturday, November 29, 2014

More Backwards To Go Forward

 I used to think that I talked so much that folks stopped listening long ago. I was correct ...they did . My Dad used to say I was vaccinated with a Victrola needle. So maybe now with this forum , I can give people a chance to hear my voice in print or choose not too.
  At this time I would like to try and give a little more Marge, like all my sisters she was a true blue friend and a great defender of the people that she loved , Me especially . Through out my life , all the missteps, wrong turns, bad decisions I made ,were never judged or scrutinized by BIG MARGE.. I am eternally grateful.
  I kinda think my family job was to make Marge laugh, her smile was narcotic to me , it is etched in my memory as well as I know my own face. I would crack wise and she would smirk and say YOU BIG JERK...and then the payoff ...THAT SMILE..I knew my work was done here. I hid my own anger , fear and pain, and lonliness by wearing the clown shoes for all . No problem , I sometimes relished this position, is was easier then being me. Then the payoff...THAT SMILE.
  Enough POOR ME...
   We brought Marge home from the hospital on a freezing cold morning, my Mom was having some medical issues after giving birth and had to stay . My Dad borrowed a car from the man next door and took Mary & Judy and me to go get her. We were very excited and cold. My sisters were getting a sister and that made it 3 boys & 3girls.
   We got our orders from Dad to sit still and wait, ...We did. Dad returned with a bundle fully wrapped due to cold. I dont think we saw her face until we got home. I was blown away by how tiny she was, 5 lbs and as big as a loaf of white bread .Mary sat in middle of back seat flanked by Judy and Me..He told us to sit very still and gave her to Mary to hold.
  Since I was only 7 years old these are the only memories I have, I am not even sure if my brothers were there that day. Funny how that works , I probably need to ask them.
   Later on my Mom said that she would catch me staring at her in her crib, I would tell her, Dad said I was supposed to watch out for her. Little did I know we would switch roles later in life. I always felt her love.
  Our family unit is pretty solid, even through somewhat difficult times.
  I am absolutely  proud of all my siblings and their families and the achievements of each and every one of them .
  Once I get to all my memories of Marge and share them with you, HAVE I GOT A STORY TO TELL YOU....stay with me... I could use the company

Friday, November 28, 2014

Moving Forward By Going Backwards

Recently I lost my darling little sister Marge to cancer at 51 years of age, she was the sweetest most genuine person I ever met. During her funeral she was remembered by hundreds of friends (on Facebook) and aquaintances, paid their respects at the services. It was the most unreal outpouring of love I have ever witnessed.
   It made me think of how people are remembered once they pass. So in my sorrow , I decided to open a Facebook page and try to connect with the people most important in my past that I no longer see . I have an unusually large family so immediately they started hitting my page requesting friend status. I instantly had way more responses than I had considered.
  Then all the people in contact with my family members that were also part of my life many years ago, started requesting a spot on my memory lane journey.You know how it works.... Some I was overjoyed to hear from and others , I realized why I didn't ...couldn't and won't stay in contact with. It also seems that more of my past female friends are involved than the fellas...hopefully the guys will reach out also.
  I also realized that the saddest story is the one that goes untold and unheard. Hence I started this blog site to tell some stories about my life and share stories others have told to me. Some may interest you and some won't . But most of all to share the joy that life brings to us all, even during the shitty times.
  So if you are my friend past or present , I will try to bring a sense of love, honesty and  FUN to this endeavor.
  I also need to say that I never tried to write before , but have told a tale or two...stay with me.I could use the company